Unicorn Boner Awards 2008

Gold star for the day goes to Unicorn Boner fanatic Pookie. He found an elusive Unicorn sandwich stand.

The magic of Unicorns cannot be reserved only for their Boners and flying and whatnot. They can also live solely by eating their own 100% real Kraft Unicorn spunk--selling the excess to us lowly humans for a tidy profit. It whitens teeth and build strong healthy bones too. Amazing!

A Unicorn Boner Dilettante

Looks like there is some competition out there for Unicorn Boner supremacy.


Well, Sharon Mesmer, until you've flung yourself down the glorious shaft of the magical-type beast that defies description like the pole of your local volunteer Fire Dept., as if the abandoned mill down by the river (the one where the lovable, ragamuffin runaways from troubled, yet ultimately ennobling circumstances sleep--along side a box full of mewing kittens) is burning, you should perhaps not speak of such things.

We are professionals here. We'll leave erotic poetry to people who don't require "companionship," who enjoy curling up with a good book, and who aren't afraid of paper cuts in private places.

Leave the Unicorn Boners to us.

Our Mission Statement

Here at Unicorn Boners we bring you the best in Unicorns, Boners and Unicorn Boners. There isn't much else to worry about beyond that equation.

It's a Koan, really. Do Unicorns have Boners? And if Unicorns had Boners, how awesome would they be?

It was Descartes who first posited that a Unicorn without a Boner would be an imperfect Unicorn. And a Unicorn is a perfect being. Therefore, a Unicorn must have a Boner. A perfect, Unicorn-ish Boner.

Unicorn Boners

As discussed at a Barack Obama rally--this blog has been birthed. More to come soon.