Wednesday, July 9, 2008

The Crapaway

We at Unicorn Boners have been silent on this issue long enough.
In New York City we have a radio show known as The Takeaway, sponsored by PRI, WNYC, The New York Times and all other manner of fellow-traveler commie-islamo-terror-fascist organizations. With that kind of backing you might think they could manage to not ruin our morning. But you would be retardedly wrong for thinking so.

The format is simple, live, morning drive, with two hosts: John Hockenberry and Adaora Udoji.

John Hockenberry is a paraplegic so we'll leave him out of this. Even Unicorn Boners couldn't make his lower half work again. And besides, he's actually not that bad, though the science segments are a bit dropped in with the news items of the day. I mean really, how often can you bring the guy from the Hayden planetarium in to chat before it turns into a D&D game?

But the other host, Adaora Udoji, is the most insanely stupid person I have ever heard speak. And I'm from Connecticut, birth place of mealy-mouthed, Benji of the Oval Office George W Bush. Let's look past the self-described "Howard Stern of public radio" label. I'll even look past the way she fumbles every word as if some smarter person living inside of her were trying to climb out her throat.

What must be addressed are the stupid questions, followed by stupid follow-ups, followed then (with a brain-meltingly knowing tone) by the begging of clarification on something that needs no clarification. "But, is the sky really blue?" "Am I an idiot?" "Is this a microphone or a practice phallus?"

Waking to this is like having a drunken one night stand, only to then realize in the sober morning, that it wasn't just a lazy eye she had, but rather she had been burned about the face with the devils jism, (which resembles herpes, a bad sunburn, and seborrhea) and she's your cousin. The ugly one.

Please make it stop. I'll agree to get Chinese finger-trapped by Leonard Lopate and Brian Lehrer if I can get Morning Edition back.

1 comment:

BCS said...

You sum it up nicely and of course I agree that this show sucks. I'm not a regular listener, but I did catch the show this morning. I barely remember what was said. I was too absorbed in hating the awful "ring tone" sound effect that signals the end of a segment. Ugh, that alone makes me never want to hear the show again.